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Tuesday, June 21, 2011

>.< I was so damn scared for nothing...
sunday morning i wake up and felt my left eye pain .
of coz i thought nothing of it .
i mean, i could accidently lay down on my phone or spec box which could cause that pain , right ?
but, to my horror, the pain didn't subside and ...
I FELT A LUMP ON THE LEFT SIDE OF MY LEFT EYE .
at first i was so damn scared that it's that old thing again ...
i mean , if it occurs again , i'll haf to face THAT again.
THAT meaning... BLINDness ...
for those of u who think nothing of it, imagine waking up like any other normal day and found out that YOU CAN'T SEE despite that ur eyes are OPEN . it's nothing like being blindfolded . at least u knew u'll be fine when u took it out .
anyway. i faced that fear FOR NOTHING . coz ytd, the swollen part starts to unswollen itself . i mean, it still hurts , but not as much . and at least my dbl eyelid is back, which shows how much thickness has gone ...

I WILL NEVER WANT TO FACE THIS STUPID FEAR AGAIN .

but i knew i will . cause we all know my eye condition . having to see eye doc for the rest of my life is not for show . it's for IN CASE . one slightly wrong thing , and i'll really go blind FOR LIFE.
NOONE COULD UNDERSTAND THAT FEAR .

wad am i complaining abt anyway... i faced this fact for nearly 8 years . it's no big deal . WHO THE HELL AM I KIDDING ?!?!?! myself . i'll fool this weak heart of mine again and again . till it truly became fearless . i've rid myself of all but 4 fears . i shld be able to get rid of them . although they are the strongest fears. u could say they're something like trauma when young...

Rants and complains written at 6:55 AM

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~ All about ♥Me♥ ~
Hi, I'm Ling Xuan and my ♥ ones call me Xuan
I've seen this filthy world since 14 Jan 1994
Studying at Unity Pri/Unity Sec/Singapore Poly
My zodiac is Chick coz I'm a young girl
My horoscope is capricorn which can predict future
I have 3 younger sisters,
Zhiyin (zy)-1 yr younger
Hongqi (hq)-2 yrs younger
Yaan (anan)-13 yrs younger
I am very self-centered and violent, BUT
I dun attack females unless they attack first
But I will attack you forever(when i saw u)even if you make me very angry just ONCE.
(ps:Kevin,Pin Zheng and KC is a gd example)

~ Chit-chats here ~
No spamming allowed :)

~ My darings ♥ ~
Mummy♥
AnAn♥
Pauline ♥
QiQi ♥
Yin ♥
RuiXia
Sheryl
SinYi

~ Links ~
FB's profile
dA profile
TV dramas
M A N G A
NYAN CAT!!
class 4/7
uss band

~ My loves ~
Food ♥ Most junk food
Fruits ♥ Durians
Snacks ♥ Chocolate
Sweets ♥ most of it
Hobby ♥ Playing Computer
Pasttime ♥ Reading books
Books ♥ Comics/manga
Colour ♥ Pink
Sister ♥ AnAn
Cousin ♥ Pauline
Parent ♥ Mummy
Friend ♥ Rui Xia

~ My Dreams ~
-To fly overseas[USA,Hong Kong,Taiwan,Japan,Australia,etc] with my family (excluding my father)
-To have the school shut down
-No exams forever Fulfilled
-To live in a bungalow in Singapore
-To get into the Game Design and Development course in SP(2009's cutoff=15) Fulfilled
-To get laser treatment for my eyes.
-To stop going to see the doc for malnutrient & backbone prob. [LAST CHECKUP THIS YEAR~]
-To stop going to the eye doctor for having a vessel busted b4 (done by zy) [heard that it's impossible]
-To draw VERY nice.
-To be black belt in tae kwon do
-To know Japanese,Korean,Malay and Chinese dialect

~ My Wants ~
-To have my own computer/laptop wif internet connection (partially fulfilled)
-To have as many comics as possible not needed since internet has everything
-To have a big durian cake on my bday.
-DURIANS
-newest iPhone
-get a new jeans that fits perfectly... Fulfilled

~ My Evil Wish ~
-My dad to die [and get his house,CPF,etc,etc. it's alot better than him giving those to all the other girls. and not giving a cent to my mum as maintainance fee coz he's "not" working. ]

~ My Hates ~
-Spicy food.
-Being accused of something I have not done.
-Most Guys/boys.
-my dad
-green vegetable
-bugs (especially flying ones)
-dark
-blood

~ Music ♥ ~
MIKU~~~






































Well..... Since you're here in MY blog , I had a few rules for you. The most important one is , of coz, to say hi or wadeva in the chatbox. do rmb,no spams and unpleasant things in my chatbox. everything written here is copyrighted,so you can't copy anything! And ... If you hate my rules, press Alt + F4 or simply click here to go away. If you're still here,Enjoy your stay here xD oh.. and, this is best viewed in IE